Monday, August 15, 2011

The Total Transformation Program Review - Part 3

Total Transformation Program
In late May, I received the Total Transformation Program from Legacy Publishing. Developed by behavioral therapist James Lehman, it was designed to help parents of difficult or defiant children bring peace and order back into their homes again. This is an audio and DVD program with a workbook. When it first arrived, I posted an introduction to the program.

I followed up with a second post in June.   At that point, I had started working through the program and had a feel for it.  The early lessons dealt with why children act out, why they don't listen, and how we as parents can even make it worse.  Some simple ways to start turning behavior around right away were also included.

The audio CDs for the second half of the program teach how to use this information, avoid pitfalls, and bring responsibility and accountability into your home.  The lessons are:
  • Transformation Tools
  • Understanding Faulty Thinking
  • What to Do After your Child Acts Out
  • How to Stop it before it Starts
When used consistently, the tools provided will work.   I learned about behavioral triggers, and how I could react with better responses.  I learned how to avoid the traps that undermine parental authority and render my words ineffective.   I feel like I have the tools to really help my kids work through problems and become less prone to emotional outbursts.  Included are ways to communicate and set limits that leave the children unable to refute me -  if they try, their arguments will sound weak, and won't get the reaction they hope for.  I have the ability to walk away from the drama, without causing hurt or creating the chasm that exists between so many parents and their teens.  Sometimes, it even results in smiles, and self correction.

Of course, kids will still act out, but I'm able to shut it down, or at least not take it personally. I'm able to see the behavior for what it really is, instead of reading all sorts of inaccurate assumptions into the situations.  I can provide appropriate direction, assistance, and hopefully, I'll help my boys make the transition from teenagers to responsible adults.

When I finished with the audio lessons, there was a DVD of a seminar given by James Lehman which reviewed all of the key points of the program in a bullet point fashion..

One of the things I like about Mr Lehman's teaching approach is that he often makes parallels to how things work in the real world.  He's very gut level and honest.  He relates his own experiences as a youth, as a parent, and as a therapist.  It's obvious that he really cared about the kids, and he really wanted to help parents.  It's not parents vs kids in this program.  He wanted what was best for everybody.

I highly recommend the program with the caveat that parents have to be consistent.  Of course, nobody is perfect, but I have noticed if I let things slide, it will bring me right back to the where I began, and I lose credibility.

I realize that I'm using the tools with 11 year olds - and our biggest problems are sassy mouths and limit setting - but the concepts are the same, no matter what the behavioral problem.  The root causes are the same as well.  With Total Transformation, I am able to help my kids with problem solving skills, I have control over how my children treat me, and I am able to set limits.

It is my hope, that by using these tools now, I can avoid some tumult in the teen years.  My expectations will be clear, my response to misbehavior will be consistent, and hopefully, delivered with a cool head.

If you’d like to learn more about the award winning Total Transformation Program, visit  You’ll find a lot of information, testimonials and a form to sign up for the Empowering Parents Newsletter.  This email newsletter and website are a wealth of parenting help and information.   The newsletter is free, and so are all of the resources, which include articles, podcasts, and blogs.

If you have a Facebook account, you may want to “like” the Total Transformation and Empowering Parents pages, too.

**I was given the Total Transformation Program in order to provide a well informed blogged review.  I am not an affiliate, and have not been paid.  My opinions are my own.