Thursday, December 12, 2013

Second Firsts - Live, Laugh, and Love Again After Loss and #Grieving @SecondFirsts

Second FirstsSecond Firsts: Live, Laugh, and Love Again
  • Written by Christina Rasmussen
  • Published by Hay House, Inc.
  • Released November 4, 2013
  • Paperback Edition, 216 Pages
  • Publisher's List Price:  $15.95
  • Learn More at the Website
  • Purchase Your Copy From Amazon or Barnes and Noble
  • Find Christina Rasmussen on Facebook and Twitter (@SecondFirsts)
What happens when a therapist and crisis intervention counselor with a Master's Degree in bereavement loses her young husband to cancer and is left behind with two young children?  This is exactly what happened to Christina Rasmussen.  It is one thing to have a wealth of information but it is quite another to apply it to ourselves, especially in a time of sorrow.  One thing Ms. Rasmussen noted was that loss creates a gap in our lives.  To heal we need to navigate the from the world that was our lives before the crisis to the world that is the life we are meant to have after the loss. Sadly, it can be tempting to stay lost in that gap.

I definitely have a sad place where I dwell when I am grieving.  I can remember the months following my father's death.  It was sudden and unexpected.  He died because of an accident in early October.  Afterward I went through the motions of my life - taking care of the children, participating in school activities, planning for Thanksgiving and Christmas - but it felt like I was standing outside of my body and the real me was only watching as though there was a scripted movie of my life.

I kept wanting to shout.  "How can anyone care about the price of gasoline?!?  Don't you know that my father just died?  You want me to make cupcakes for the whole class?  I can scarcely get out of bed every morning!!"  It was rough.  

Christina calls the process of moving out of that place Life Reentry and in her book, Second Firsts, she guides the readers through a process designed for breaking away from the spiral of grief.  The plan is designed to move us away from survival mode and forward to a happy and healthy life - a life that reflects our values and our passions rather than our sorrows.

The method is based on the science of nueroplasticity but don't let the name scare you, it isn't painful!  The method allows the grieving person to release the pain we feel while still honoring our loved ones.  We teach ourselves to change the way we see the world and ourselves without feeling the guilt that perhaps we shouldn't be enjoying our lives. 

I don't want to give you the impression that the book is clinical.  It is actually very warm and personal.  The author shares her own stories and experiences as she shares practical exercises and guides readers through five stages of healing.

The book is for anyone anyone who has experienced a loss and may be having trouble moving out of the gap I mentioned earlier.  It may be especially helpful to anyone who is feeling depressed during this holiday season.  As I read on the author's website, this method is a way to rebuild, reclaim, and relaunch a life.