My boys have a rather low frustration threshold. Unfortunately, it is coupled with a desire to do a lot of amazing things. They are great imitators and can copy comedy routines or movie lines by simply observing them for a little while. Unfortunately, there are many things that cannot be imitated. Things that require a lot of work and attention – like championship swimming.
The boys have always loved the water. When they were little, we spent entire summers poolside, and they would have only been happier if they had gills and never had to come out onto dry land. One day, when they were not quite six years old, I noticed that a sports network was airing a world championship swimming event. Naturally, I turned it on and my sons watched the competitors with rapt attention.
The next day we went swimming and my kids unraveled. They were trying to swim like those guys on TV and, as you can imagine, it was not going well. It took almost an hour to calm them down and convince them that swimming at that level required a combination of God given talent, years of intensive practice, and a whole lot of determination. If everyone could do it we wouldn’t be so fascinated by the athletes we were watching the day before!
There were similar reactions to other things – like difficult video games that left them stuck on hard levels for hours, finding our way halfway through a Lego model only to realize we made an error a few pages back, and new math concepts.
I was a different kind of child. I was the one who would untangle Christmas lights, sort things into alphabetical order, or count how many jellybeans it took to fill a jar. I knew I could not change my children’s temperaments, but I could probably help them to understand the importance of patience and practice.
One day I pulled out some building blocks and challenged them to a contest. We would all try to build the tallest tower. The one who could build the tallest one would be the winner.
Both boys immediately began stacking their blocks higher and higher. They were making rapid progress while I was just finishing my base. First one tower fell, then the other. I encouraged them to try again while I kept building. Again I heard crashing blocks. I kept working and invited them to try one more time. After the third time, I asked them to join me and to put ALL of the blocks on my tower which was finally starting to grow. They eagerly joined in.
We had a very impressive building when we were finished! After we admired our work for a little while I sat them down and I held two blocks. First I put them on top of each other so they were very tall. We held our breath while they wobbled and then we watched them tumble down. After that, I put one flat and stood the other on top of it. It was slightly sturdier, but I was able to knock it down with one finger. The third time, I just put one on top of the other. It was low to the ground, but it didn’t move unless I shoved it. They enjoyed the visual lesson, and I went on to teach them about foundations.
I showed them how I had built my tower. It had a wide solid base that was several layers tall. The following layers were not as wide, but they were similar. I did this all the way up to the top and, in the end, I had a very sturdy structure. All things that are strong and built to last need a strong foundation – a house, a talent, a career, and our faith.
Great athletes have to sacrifice and spend hours perfecting their game; musicians have to practice, practice, practice. Getting through a difficult level on a game (or a hard time in our lives) may require consulting an outside source for help and a lot of fortitude. Building a great Lego model (or a piece of furniture, or even a house) requires following a plan and sticking to the instructions. Figuring out the math means understanding the concept – not just putting the right numbers on a page. We can try to reach the top immediately, but it will only be frustrating. All of these things create a solid base to build upon.
Watch babies learn to walk, or children figuring out cause and effect. While it may seem that what they are doing is simply play – they are learning about practice, mastery, and perseverance.
Since that day at the pool, my sons have taken on quite a few difficult endeavors. They began mixed martial arts classes and have spent years developing their skills. They still love the water, and have become strong swimmers. Video games – (cough) um – it is still no fun to get stuck on a level, and there may occasionally be some ugly noise over it, but there has been great progress! They also build some really amazing Legos, and my boys are really good at math, too.
