The Total Transformation Program was designed by James Lehman, a behavioral therapist. Mr. Lehman came from a rough background that included abandonment as a toddler, oppositional defiant behavior as a child, drug abuse as a teen, crime as a young man and eventually prison. Until he was taught to be accountable for his own behavior, he remained on a path of destruction. His goal with this program is to show families how to allocate accountability to abusive, defiant or disruptive teens - so that they don’t become abusive, defiant, disruptive adults.
His basic premise is that poor behavior comes when a child lacks problem solving skills. He gives parents the tools they need to help their child solve problems, which begins to turn the behavior around.
He is also very clear that there is no excuse for abuse. Ever.
This program is aimed at changing reactions. As the parents change, the child will not have the power to disrupt the household any longer.
Kids need parents who set limits. With this program, parents will be taken step by step through the process. They will be given the words, and the tools to be the parent their child needs. The children will be given the responsibility to learn the skills they need to be successful.
While my boys are not disruptive, abusive teens, they are tweens and they have Asperger Syndrome. Because of the Asperger’s they often lack problem solving skills and emotional maturity. They have difficulty asking for help when they get stressed or frustrated. They are starting to test out sassy retorts when they don’t like our rules. I believe that if we start using these tools now, we can prevent them from having to face troubled teen years.
The program begins with a Jump Start DVD. It’s a very encouraging 47 minutes in which the program is explained, parents give testimonials, and James Lehman provides his assurances that if parents follow the directions, peace will be restored in their home. He asserts that a more confident parent is one who can stop disruptive behavior before it escalates.
After viewing the DVD, there is a workbook. The first exercise is to fill out a pre-evaluation to get an idea of which behaviors to focus on first, what triggers the behaviors, and who suffers the most when the acting out occurs. The workbook also has some introductory pages about the program and James Lehman.
Once the pre-evaluation is completed, the Audio Lessons can begin. There are seven CDs included, and the suggestion is to go at a pace of about one lesson per week, implementing the new skills one at a time. There is also a bonus CD of One Minute Transformations. These are tools that will “turn around your child’s attitude in one minute or less”. Stay tuned over the next several weeks as I go through the lessons and share my opinions about them.
If you’d like to learn more about the award winning Total Transformation Program, visit www.thetotaltransformation.com . You’ll find a lot of information, testimonials and a form to sign up for the Empowering Parents Newsletter. This email newsletter and website are a wealth of parenting help and information. The newsletter is free, and so are all of the resources, which include articles, podcasts, and blogs.
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So far, I like this program a lot. There isn’t any blame being cast, and the tone is encouraging and upbeat. It has a very positive feel to it. While I’m sure breaking some of my ineffective parenting habits won’t come easy; it will be a good for both me, and my sons, as we prepare to navigate the tween and the teen years ahead.
