A few weeks ago, we had house guests. The visiting family had two little boys who were quite a bit younger than ours. I was a little bit concerned about how that would work out. I was thrilled when my guys immediately took them under their wing, and were sharing toys and including them in games. They even gave the younger two some things they had outgrown. This was rather remarkable, since my children rarely like to part with anything!
With the crisis sorted out, the visit went on nicely, and all was well and good. My guys felt like rock stars. They allowed the little ones to tear through their toys, and had a chance to show off their skills at swimming, mixed martial arts, bike riding, scooter riding, and video games. It isn’t often that they are the “big kids” in a group, and they enjoyed the spotlight.
Then, came the painful lesson. Sometimes, it is possible to go too far to try and win love and adoration.
The morning our guests were planning to leave, all the boys were outdoors riding bikes and scooters. I was cleaning up after breakfast while my friend supervised the children outside.
Taking advantage of the fact that she didn’t know my house rules, Boy One went far beyond the limits I had set for him. He took his scooter to the top of our street, which happens to be a long and rather steep hill. He raced down the incline – rapidly picking up speed. He was probably feeling cooler than a glacier – until he suddenly realized his brother was straight ahead – right in his path! He tried to quickly adjust so that they wouldn’t collide – but the sudden movement sent the scooter onto gravel, and it skidded out from under him.
The end result was not very pretty. He left a bit of skin behind. I considered adding the photos, but they are fairly gross. This one is the least horrifying.
He had broken a rule by going that far up the hill.
He didn’t have to do a thing to impress these children. The mere fact that he was older, and had things they didn’t have was enough for them. They just looked up to him for being who he was.
Instead of elevating his cool status, he made himself look rather uncool instead.
On the bright side, life is school, and he had the opportunity to learn these great things.
If you feel like you have to show off to make or keep friends, you should probably step back and look at why.
If a relationship is based on what you can do for a person, you will never be able to keep up.
If your mother sets a limit, it is NOT because she likes to be mean, but because she knows more than you do.
Thankfully, time has healed the wounds, even the ones to his pride. He was feeling a bit sheepish until his brother told him how cool it was that he didn’t completely freak out, and the little guys moved on as though nothing had happened. In fact, they even took up for him when I scolded him for being so reckless.
There will probably always be some scarring on his arm and shoulder, perhaps these will serve as a good reminder not to be a showoff. Maybe when he looks at them he will remember that he is worthy of love simply because of who he is.
It can be hard not to want to impress others, but I hope he will always be to be true to himself, and respectful of boundaries.
